What Was I Thinking?

March 27, 2025

Do you sometimes do something that contradicts your core values and undermines the very things in which you have invested much of your time, money, and energy? In moments like that you might ask yourself, “What was I thinking?”


You love your family. You want them to enjoy a peaceful home. You hope to provide an example for them to follow, and you would like them to look up to you. But, in a moment of offense, you slam a door, speak harshly, or even throw things. These irrational behaviors are telling you something helpful if you want to listen.


Do you remember the last few incidents in which you acted out irrationally? Can you identify a pattern? Are the people you say you love walking on eggshells around you because you are known for becoming defensive, stomping off, sulking, or becoming sarcastic? Maybe you erupt into a monologue that your wife or children are helpless to escape. You give a speech to your captive audience to convince them that you are a great guy, and would be even better if it wasn’t for them and what they are doing to trigger you. You attempt to explain your behavior by accusing them of pushing you too far.


If you could be convinced that the problem is in you and can be fixed, would you listen to someone tell you how to change?


There is hope. I know because I am in the change process too. I found something that helps me stop reaching for those old worn-out responses that ultimately hurt the ones I love.


I can’t give six weeks of counseling in one post, but I can tell you that you lie to yourself more than anyone has ever lied to you. The messages you repeat to your mind are the thinking that precedes your choices. Until you identify the lies you are telling yourself, you are prone to return to one form or another of those destructive, irrational behaviors, and failing to identify those lies will cost you. It may cost you quite a lot.


A man who believes he deserves respect and cannot live without it may find himself demanding, angry, and lonely, venting on social media after losing his friends, being pushed out of his job, and being ignored by his family.


If you are ready to identify the lies you have been telling yourself, here’s a starting point.


Pray this from Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.”


Read your Bible. As you discover the truth in the Scripture, ask God to help you identify the lies you have been believing.


You may feel like you don’t have anyone you can talk to, but you could reach out to me, or another biblical counselor, who is trained to help you identify those lies and replace them with truth.



Wouldn’t it be liberating for those disappointing moments to decrease in frequency and severity?

By Nathan Pierpont July 31, 2026
Confirming Counseling Relationships Although I serve full-time as Associate Pastor at Northeastern Baptist Church, I also moonlight for Shepherd’s Friend. The hours I once spent teaching piano are now dedicated to walking alongside others in ministry. On average, I meet for two sessions each week, and every conversation is a reminder that even those who care for souls need someone to care for theirs. Confirming Progress In recent months, I have made time to complete Phase Two of the ACBC certification process, which covers the theology, philosophy, and practical application of biblical counseling. I am grateful for the motivation to finish these exams and move forward. I am now beginning Phase Three, which involves fifty hours of supervised counseling. At the same time, I continue to work toward my doctorate. This month, I will begin a class in Advanced Counseling Methodology, and with my final DMin course scheduled for February, I am approaching the final stages of my program. Confirming Support I am humbled to report that we have taken on two new financial supporters just since our last newsletter. I look forward to reporting more on that topic next month. We are prepared to receive charitable donations as a registered 501(c)(3) organization. If you wish to help us help pastors, you may send a gift to our ministry office. Shepherd’s Friend, 5448 Hillsight St, Kalamazoo, MI. 49004. Pray for Us. When I say ‘us,’ I mean my wife, Jennifer, and me, but also the Board of Directors for Shepherd’s Friend. Three remarkable men—Allyn VanDyk, Phil Miller, and Pastor Michael McManus—have joined me in building this ministry from the ground up. When I first asked them to partner with me, none of us could have imagined just how much work lay ahead. Yet with each step, I am more convinced that God has knit us together for this purpose: to encourage pastors through friendship, coaching, and biblical counseling that is free and accessible right where they are. Each day, it becomes more evident that we are part of something truly meaningful. These men appreciate your prayer. I look forward to introducing them to our prayer partners in a more personal fashion in future editions of the newsletter. Much is happening. Watch for updates and progress reports. New Website Design “Thank you, Liza Miller!” Liza provided her professional skills to redesign the Shepherd’s Friend website just in time for the RBM National Conference. Shepherdsfriend.org Check it out and share the link with others who may need a friend in ministry or with someone who may wish to join our family of supporters.  Clarification on Giving to Shepherd's Friend For now, the way to partner with Shepherd’s Friend is by check or bank-to-bank transfer. We plan to be able to receive online donations in a few months. Anyone who wishes to support Shepherd’s Friend should NOT make pledges through Substack. If you would like to know more about this ministry, please check out our updated website. Shepherdsfriend.org
By Nathan Pierpont March 19, 2026
On Thursday morning last week, I had the opportunity to gather with other pastors from the Southwest region of our fellowship. It was a great opportunity to get better acquainted. It also served as a reminder that pastors like myself are regular guys with common life circumstances. I really appreciated the chance to have conversations with most of the men who were there that day. The church that hosted us provided a delicious lunch, and the fellowship was as sweet as the cherry dessert. The very next day, at the Church Ministries Conference in Grand Rapids, was our first opportunity to display our exhibit for Shepherd’s Friend. We saw many familiar faces and met new friends as well. Several conversations underscored the need for a ministry that seeks to encourage pastors. Jennifer and I are already following up with pastors and pastors’ wives who indicated they could use a little encouragement or would like to help us encourage others. Our display location ended up being right next to the display for a classical Christian school. I was thrilled to discover that Bob Davis, of Libertas Christian School, had actually been baptized at First Baptist Church in Wayland, MI, by my dad, Kenneth F. Pierpont, when he was a church planter in the mid-1960s, a couple of years before I was born. Shepherd’s Friend is largely inspired by my dad’s ministry of encouragement to other men over his 60 years in pastoral ministry, so it was gratifying to connect with someone who still remembered my dad’s impact on them so long ago. He did not serve in that position very long. After serving in Vietnam as an Army Chaplain, Dad went on to have a ministry assisting churches that we might refer to as a revitalization. He retired from full-time pastoral ministry at the age of 85, one week before the COVID pandemic broke out. Meeting Bob Davis, who was impacted positively by my dad when he was a young, inexperienced pastor, was encouraging to me. I am grateful to the Lord for the many connections we have made in the last seven days. Every day this week seemed to present another opportunity to encourage someone else in ministry. Even today, I was contacted by someone requesting a follow-up with another pastor who would appreciate some encouragement. If this past week is any indication of what my days will be like with Shepherd’s Friend, we are in for quite a ride. I ask for prayer for me, for Jennifer, for our Board of Directors, and for ministry partners to join our efforts to encourage others in ministr y.